Melanie SidotiThis post contains affiliate links, meaning we may receive compensation when you make a purchase through one of our links. However, all opinions and recommendations are our own.
This post began as a list of life lessons – things I wanted my granddaughters to know as young women and carry with them as they navigate life.
Then I thought…well my adult kids could use this..every young person…everyone’s kids..well everyone could probably relate and get a little something from this..even if just a simple reminder.
So basically this is really important life stuff I wish I had known sooner.
I hope this reaches every person who needs to read it.
Every young person coming to know themselves – trying to decide who they are and who they want to be.
Every person who is working on making a life change.
Every person who struggles with self-worth, boundaries, and difficult relationships.
Every person who is courageous enough to embrace life wholeheartedly and forge ahead to create a life well lived.
1. Self-care
Do it! Make caring for yourself a top priority. I’m not talking about being selfish, but take the time to nurture yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally and make it non-negotiable.
Caring for yourself not only puts you in a better position to care for others but how you prioritize caring for yourself conveys to others your standard of being cared for.
Basically, you’re setting the bar for how you expect to be cared for. If your care and well-being are important to you, your care and well-being will be important to those who love you and those you attract into your life.
2. The prettiest girls are the happy ones
Always know that you are God’s perfect creation, absolutely 100 percent beautiful inside and out.
Do yourself a favor and don’t get caught up in your thoughts about the way you look. Not that you shouldn’t take care of your appearance, but don’t worry so much about your hair being perfect or if your teeth are not exactly straight or if your athletic thighs are bigger or smaller than someone else’s.
Maybe your ears stick out “too far” or your nose is “too small”.
Two words – SO WHAT?!
If someone chooses to find fault in your appearance don’t take it to heart. These people are likely struggling with loving and feeling good about themselves.
Love and accept yourself inside and out.
Laugh!
I mean belly laugh!
Learn to laugh at yourself and laugh every chance you get!
Do things that make you full and happy. Invest in your life, your talents, your goals and whatever brings you joy.
When you focus on loving yourself and others and being joyful and kind, your beauty will radiate from within.
Always remember…the prettiest girls are the happy ones.
3. What you focus on, you create more of
The understanding that you are a powerful creator in your life instead of some victim of random circumstance – is key to living happily.
You are constantly creating the circumstances in your life with the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and the things you focus your energy on.
If you’re always walking around saying “I don’t feel good.”, chances are you’re not going to feel very good. If your constant mantra is “life stinks” or “I can’t catch a break” or “I’m so broke”, guess what? You’re going to create more of what stinks, or more lack of luck, money, or whatever it may be.
If you spend all your time thinking about how amazing life is and how grateful you are you’ll create more amazingness and life will send you more to be grateful for.
Choose to focus on the best possible outcome you can imagine in any uncertain situation and not on all the things that could possibly go wrong.
Focus on solutions, not problems. Choose to believe that things are always working together in your favor.
4. Be Yourself
In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.
Don’t waste your life sitting around wishing you could be someone else, and for goodness sake don’t waste your time trying to be or act like anyone else.
There will always be people who have more than you and those who will have less. There will always be someone with the car you’d like to have……the body, the relationship, the job, the money, the education, the dog, the house etc.
Also, remember that Every. Single. One. of those people has their own set of problems and insecurities.
Sitting around wishing and wanting to be someone else is a complete waste. If there is something you want to be or do or have, get out there and make it happen.
Authentically and wholeheartedly appreciate the beauty and gifts of others but don’t forget to be grateful for your own unique gifts, talents, thoughts, and perspectives.
It is okay for you to think the way you think the way you think, love the things you love, and believe the things you believe. All these things may change – several times even – as you grow and gain more life experience. But know that there is nothing that needs to change about you other than the things YOU wish to change about yourself. You are free to do so any time you choose. If there are thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors you’d like to change about yourself, change them.
Everyone will not always agree with you and that’s okay. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to believe about yourself and don’t diminish yourself to fit anyone else’s idea of what you should be.
Be true to yourself and go where you are celebrated!
5. Know Your Worth
If you FEEL like you deserve better, you do!
Your worth is not dependent on some job, education, or college degree, some man, some friend, or someone else’s opinion of you. You are a one-of-a-kind, beautiful soul who deserves to have and experience all the love and greatness this world has to offer.
Discover your worth within yourself. Know your worth and conduct your life like the royalty you are. You will then find and attract people and a life that is worthy of YOU.
Know what you bring to the table and if you find yourself sitting at a table with people who make you feel “less than” or wish to diminish you, don’t hesitate to excuse yourself and walk away from the table.
Just because someone desires you does not mean that they VALUE you.
6. You are Responsible for Your Own Happiness
Don’t assign the responsibility of your happiness to anyone other than yourself.
- It’s not fair to them. It’s more responsibility than most people want to take on for another.
- It’s way too much power to hand over to another person. When you make your happiness dependent on another person, you’re giving them the power to decide whether you get to be happy or not. Let that sink in.
- You’re setting them up for failure. Your happiness is not actually something within their control.
For the same reasons don’t let anyone else assign you the burden of “making them happy”.
Happiness is an inside job. Each person must be responsible for his/her own happiness.
There is a big difference between NEEDING someone in your life to MAKE you happy and WANTING someone in your life because they enhance your already happy and joyous life.
7. Broken People
We’re all a little broken in one way or another. We’ve all been hurt or mistreated or misunderstood in some way.
Practice seeing people as God sees them – perfect in their brokenness. Love people – love broken people especially but do not think it is your responsibility – or even that you have the ABILITY to “fix” anyone.
Healing comes from within. Some people want healing and wholeness and simply need love and encouragement while they work to fix their brokenness.
Beware of those who will choose to live in their brokenness.
You cannot fix anyone. You can not beg, plead, or love someone enough to make them “fix” themselves and NO amount of you living in their brokenness with them will fix them. When it’s time to let them go, have the courage to wish them well and let them go.
8. Friends come and go – and that’s okay.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. Author unknown.
This has to be one of the truest and most timeless things ever written.
People will come and go throughout your life. Some will come into your life for a specific reason and quickly exit, some you get to keep for a little while, and some you’re stuck with for life.
Some people come to teach you and some to learn from you. Some people will overstay their welcome and some will move on far sooner than you would’ve liked.
Everyone is not meant to be a part of your forever. Friends may move away and lose touch. Life may take others in a completely different direction than you’re going. You may outgrow people or find that you just don’t have much in common after all.
Love and cherish the people in your life for who they are and for the time you’ve been given. Appreciate each person’s unique role and when the time comes, allow them to move on with gratitude and acceptance of what was and what is.
9. Learn To Enjoy Your Own Company
There is a big difference between ALONE and LONELY.
ALONE means by oneself, or separate from others. LONELY describes a feeling of sadness resulting from isolation or abandonment.
You will find that you can be ALONE without feeling lonely and you can feel LONELY in the middle of a room full of people.
Love yourself. Cultivate and nurture your relationship with self. Don’t be afraid of being alone.
Maybe your friends are busy. Maybe you’re at a point in life where friends are few and far between. Maybe you’ve had to leave some friendship or relationship behind for good.
Pay attention to all the things you enjoy doing alone. These could include reading a book, hiking, taking a bath, writing, meditating, etc.
Do those things often to clear your head and recharge your batteries. Time alone is probably one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself.
Also, practice doing things ALONE that you would normally do with other people. Cook, exercise, travel, have dinner, go see a movie, etc.
It’s nice to grab your best girlfriends and head out to see the latest movie. It’s great to have that cutie from next door take you out for a nice dinner. But don’t be afraid to go it alone.
I’ve had some of the best times traveling and dining alone. There have been many times I’ve met fantastic new people and other times when I’ve simply enjoyed the anonymity. You just never know!
The ability to be alone and enjoy your own company conveys confidence and a high sense of self -worth. If you happen to be looking to meet someone special, there are few things more attractive than that.
10. Forgiveness is for you
I wish it weren’t so – but in life, people will hurt you. People will hurt you carelessly, mindlessly, and sometimes even purposefully.
Forgive them freely and forgive them quickly. Forgive those who have apologized and especially forgive those who are not even sorry.
Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Buddha
Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve to be at peace in your heart. To forgive someone is not to pretend that what they did was okay, but it is a way for you to release the hurt they caused you.
By holding on to anger and grudges, you’ll continue to hurt yourself.
Forgive. Send them thoughts of love and peace and Let. It. Go.
11. This Too Shall Pass
If you find yourself in a place where nothing seems to be going your way and life just isn’t adding up to what you had hoped for the moment, keep your head up and know that “this too shall pass”.
If you find yourself in a place where life is absolutely wonderful and everything you touch turns to gold, embrace it with gratitude and also know that “this too shall pass”.
Mostly we wish difficult times quickly away and hold tightly to the wonderful, easier times, pleading for them to stay forever. That’s just human nature.
No matter the situation – good or bad, no matter if you would wish it away or wish it to stay, you can always count on the fact that, before long, change will come.
To accept this is to allow life to flow freely, with little attachment to our ideas of what should and shouldn’t be. Let go of resistance to change. Allow things to enter and leave your life.
Change is inevitable. Change is constant. Things are meant to pass. Experiences are meant to come and go.
Enjoy every second of the exhilarating adventure that is life. Embrace the twists and turns. Ride the highs and don’t let the lows get you too low.
Is there some little bit of wisdom that would have saved you time or heartache had you known sooner in life rather than later? Share with us in the comments.
