Melanie SidotiOur thoughts and what we think about all day long is the basis for what we believe to be true about ourselves and others and ultimately determines the quality of our lives.
When we repeat the same things enough, we begin to believe them. When we believe certain things
Sometimes we get caught in an endless loop, our negativity playing on repeat until it becomes an automatic unconscious soundtrack playing in the background of our lives.
To even begin to break free we must first be able to identify and recognize how our thought processes may be dragging us down and, in spite of our best efforts, keeping us from making lasting changes.
Here are 3 big ways your thoughts may be keeping you stuck;
1. Negative Self Talk
The way we talk to ourselves on a daily basis is EVERYTHING!
Most of us, at least until someone brings it to our awareness, are not really conscious of the power of our thoughts. If we were, we would be a bit more careful of what we allow ourselves to think.
Negative self-talk is one of the most self-defeating behaviors we can ever participate in and one that needs to be left at the curb like yesterday’s garbage. ASAP.
How would you talk to a friend?
First of all, most of us would never say the awful things we say to ourselves to a dear friend. If we did, I can’t imagine they would stick around for very long.
So, I know it may sound cliché, but if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
“I AM” Thoughts
“I AM” is a powerful statement. These are your power thoughts and communicate exactly what you believe to be true, so be especially conscious of the words that follow.
Pay special attention to changing negative thoughts that begin with: I always, I never, I can’t, I think, I believe, and I AM.
Just Be Nice
You are your constant companion. You are also the director of that constant chatter in your head.
So the choice is yours.
You can choose to occupy your mind with negative thoughts that drag you down or you can fill it up with positive, kind, gentle, empowering thoughts that remind you of how amazing you actually are!
You may never, ever, ever, ever completely rid yourself of all self-defeating or negative thoughts.
Do the best you can in each given moment. Treat yourself with love and patience and forgive yourself when you don’t get it just right.
Remember consistent actions create habits!
2. Doom and Gloom Thinking
These thoughts are void of any optimism.
This type of thinking will keep you focused on why a thing cannot be done or why things “never work out” and will always have you considering the next worst-case scenario.
Example:
You call your boyfriend/girlfriend several times and get no answer. You begin thinking things like, “He/she just doesn’t want to talk to me”, or “Is he/she” mad at me?” or “I wonder if he/she is hanging out with someone else”, [GASP!]
Example:
You make plans with a friend. You’re ready to leave your house but haven’t heard from your friend all day and can’t get them to answer the phone. What goes through your mind?
Later, you find out they were caught in a late meeting at work where they did not have their phone.
Let’s face it,
In most cases, it’s probably much safer to assume that those thoughts are NOT true than it is to waste a single second thinking they are.
When you begin feeling this way, take a couple of deep breaths and ask yourself, “IS THIS THOUGHT TRUE?”.
3. Worry
When we worry we are giving our precious energy to something that may or may not ever even happen.
Anything that actually HAS happened, has happened regardless of whether we worried about it or not.
I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. – Mark Twain
Why worrying is a waste of time and energy;
Worrying doesn’t change anything –Control the things you can control and let go of the things you can’t.
I know this is sometimes easier said than done but if you think for one second your worrying about a thing will affect the outcome, stop it already. Let. It. Go.
It robs us of the present moment – No amount of worry will fix a problem. What it WILL do is distract us from whatever we are doing and make it impossible to enjoy the present moment.
Worry negatively affects the mind and body – Worry causes stress and anxiety. Chronic worry can affect your appetite, sleep, relationships, and job performance.
Many people who worry excessively resort to harmful lifestyle habits such as overeating, smoking, or using drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Rather than worry about the problem, focus on finding a solution.
Can you think of another way our stinking thinking gets in the way of us living our best lives? Please share in the comments.
